Chasing Cars

I have a desire to blog today, but don't know if I have adequate words. As I sit here at my computer I am arrested by the name of this blog. SPENTLIFE. It causes me to pause and meditate for a moment. Does this apply to me? Nice words, yes. A very noble goal for one's life, but does it apply.

Am I an American? An American, who is chasing the dream like a dog chasing a speeding car? A car that will never be caught and if it actually is, it may very well be worse then never catching it at all. Chasing is not SPENTLIFE. Chasing simply makes me tired and frustrated. Chasing is seeking my own ways first. Seeking the advancement and the top placement of my own Kingdom. Am I an American? An American, who is chasing?

Or do I seek another Kingdom first? What would it look like if I were truly seeking another Kingdom first? Would my words be different? Would my patience be different? Would I love differently? Would my actions be different? Would my thoughts be different? Would my motives be different? If my life were not my own, how would that look?

For what Kingdom do I SPEND my life on? What am I advancing?

The answers to these questions, I can not be sure of.

.love.

"You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the greatest and first commandment. And a second is like it, You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets."

Love your neighbor as yourself: although its rhetorical power has been dimmed by repetition, that is a radical notion, perhaps the most radical notion possible. Especially since Jesus, in all his teachings, made it very clear who the neighbor you were supposed to love was: the poor person, the sick person, the naked person, the hungry person. The last shall be made first; turn the other cheek; a rich person aiming for heaven is like a camel trying to walk through the eye of a needle. On and on and on—a call for nothing less than a radical, voluntary, and effective reordering of power relationships, based on the principle of love.

**THE ABOVE WAS TAKEN FROM ONE OF MY FAVORITE ARTICLES, WRITTEN BY BILL McKIBBEN IN A 2005 ISSUE OF HARPER'S MAGAZINE.**

The link to the full article is: http://www.harpers.org/archive/2005/08/0080695 . Don't read it if you want to stay comfortable and the same.

Joy

"This is true joy in life, the being used up for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy."

This is one of my favorite quotes and one I ponder on from time to time. I occasionally pull out old journals of mine and go through them to capture and meditate old quotes that I have written down over the years. This morning I ran across this quote, one attributed to George Bernard Shaw. The truth here is sobering. True joy is not derived from seeking after that which makes us happy. No true joy is derived from being used up. Used up for a mighty purpose, a purpose bigger than ourselves.

When I meditate on this, I quickly come to the point of realization that being selfish has no place in being joyful. In fact selfishness and joy may operate directly opposed to each other. Can a selfish person truly experience joy. Can they, in all their longings for themselves, ever experience the sovereign truth of a joyful existence. A genuine joyfulness.

But I'm not selfish. Or am I? I'm not counted among that number. Or am I? How often do I not take that phone call because I'm just tired and don't want to talk? How often do I sleep in, when I know the Father is wooing me to awake? How often do I turn that TV on when the book I'm being led to read is sitting on the end table right next to me? How often am I used up for a purpose that I recognize as a mighty one?

Maybe I am selfish after all. And maybe, just maybe, somehow my joy is tied into all of this.

Been Awhile

Well it's been awhile, well over a year now I suppose. Not even sure I remember how to post, but I thought I'd give this thing another try. My musing and thoughts need to find a resting place. Daily I post them in my own personal journal that I take with me everywhere I go. It's a form of outlet for me where I can express my thoughts, desires, plans, and inner longings. I'm not sure if a public forum for this is necessary or even acceptable.

This forum will never take the place of my journal, I don't want it to. But I do acknowledge that there is value in a public forum and public discussion. So we will see where this leads. I am making no promises to others and no promises to myself. We will see if discipline will prevail or if this will fade again.

As for today, I have begun again. As for tomorrow, that is yet to be seen.