Joy

"This is true joy in life, the being used up for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy."

This is one of my favorite quotes and one I ponder on from time to time. I occasionally pull out old journals of mine and go through them to capture and meditate old quotes that I have written down over the years. This morning I ran across this quote, one attributed to George Bernard Shaw. The truth here is sobering. True joy is not derived from seeking after that which makes us happy. No true joy is derived from being used up. Used up for a mighty purpose, a purpose bigger than ourselves.

When I meditate on this, I quickly come to the point of realization that being selfish has no place in being joyful. In fact selfishness and joy may operate directly opposed to each other. Can a selfish person truly experience joy. Can they, in all their longings for themselves, ever experience the sovereign truth of a joyful existence. A genuine joyfulness.

But I'm not selfish. Or am I? I'm not counted among that number. Or am I? How often do I not take that phone call because I'm just tired and don't want to talk? How often do I sleep in, when I know the Father is wooing me to awake? How often do I turn that TV on when the book I'm being led to read is sitting on the end table right next to me? How often am I used up for a purpose that I recognize as a mighty one?

Maybe I am selfish after all. And maybe, just maybe, somehow my joy is tied into all of this.